Instead we got a venomous version of Victor Meldrew at the beginning, subsiding into utter placidity by the end It's important to get him right. Or am I alone in this obsession? Pity the person hung up on armpits.There WAS much that was questionable about Emma, not least the mountain of artichokes on the dinner table: Mr Woodhouse would never have allowed it But the real Mr Woodhouse was nowhere to be seen. The historical accuracy of all this hairlessness troubles me less than the fact that I always notice whether women have shaved their underarms or not shaved their underarms. Whether 'tis nobler to have hair or not, the female armpit is always a statement, and always questionable.

I think it's explained by the fact that Alfredo's father keeps turning up. He's such a party-pooper, he'd drive any pair apart.I went to Jonathan Miller's La Traviata ready and willing to be moved, but it all seemed to be about emotional impasse until the final orgasmic death as Violetta clutches the bars of her iron bedstead. Whereupon Alfredo just hugs his father, who's responsible for the whole bloody mess.What I came out of it worrying about was armpits Violetta had obviously shaved hers Harriet Smith in the new Emma movie has done the same. After the Mir/Atlantis link-up, Lucid floated through the connecting tunnel wearing a blue jump suit and woolly slippers.

I'd wear long johns and big sweaters and not bother about my hair. Come to think of it, that's what I do on earth.The Bishop of Argyll, on the other hand, seems to want to do housework His devotion to the domestic scene is most touching. But is it front-page news? I thought Catholic priests had been defrocking themselves ever since celibacy was dreamed up. Heavens above.It's getting as hard to believe that Violetta would give up Alfredo because of some invisible sister as it is to understand Jane Eyre's abandonment of Rochester just because he's married Sexual relations have moved on a bit. I wonder how many other women are out there.But if that doesn't appeal, you could always try living in outer space.

Shannon Lucid is just returning from six months up there, not only the first woman to stay up so long but the first American, which is kind of surprising. But what interested Radio 4 News about her was the arrangements made for her to keep in touch with her husband and three grown-up children. Would they have worried so much about a male astronaut's letters home? But a woman must never forget her family responsibilities, even when she's not on the planet! Apparently she communicated by some form of e-mail.The thing I like about space travel is that you can schlep around in any old duds. She has said she looks forward to growing "beyond an age where a woman's sexuality is thought dangerous", and quite likes "the idea of being the first woman to read the news with grey hair".That she made these comments last year while posing for Vogue in a Valentino ballgown might be thought a little disingenuous. She fed on seaweed but hadn't grown a tail yet, so was still dressed in the khaki slacks, black T-shirt and trainers she'd set out in. No mirrors or hairbrushes were in evidence."She really couldn't see why anybody should care ... since no one had worried much before," said the coastguard officer who fished her out.

It's a tempting lifestyle: no bills, no mortgage, no taxes, no laws, no shopping trips, no aggravation - apart from the occasional shark. She said she was "transitioning" to survive in water because she couldn't live on land any more. A report compiled by Legal & General Insurance, entitled Value of a Mum, estimates that housewives do pounds 313-worth of cooking, cleaning and child-care a week, and that even working women do 53 hours of housework. Fifty-three hours? Such cleanliness is obviously a neurotic reaction to their own genitalia No one needs to do that much cleaning. Most housework doesn't need to be done at all, it's merely a futile attempt to counteract a chaotic and amoral universe with senseless, self-righteous order Loosen up, gals Life is short And dirty. Two radical techniques for avoiding the housework were revealed this week. "You only caught me because I came up for air," declared a defiant woman found living as a mermaid three miles off the coast of Florida.